The Ideal Man
By Peter Rashkin

I want to tell you about my recent encounter with the ideal man.

It was yesterday evening, July 19. Camille and I went to this Chinese buffet we like in Hawaiian Gardens. Boy, was it busy. I paid and we got our tea and trays, but we couldn’t find a place to sit. Every table was taken. A man sitting alone at a small table invited us to join him. We put our stuff down and went and got our food.

The table was too small, but there was nothing else so we made do. Soon we were involved in one of those great rare conversations that sometimes happen among strangers, usually on planes or trains. When a larger table opened up, we all moved to it and continued.

John started by asking if I had heard anything about Samantha. He had been at work all day and hadn’t heard any news. Samantha was the cute five-year-old girl who had been abducted a few days earlier from outside of her Orange County home, then found raped and murdered over by Lake Elsinore. Just before we left for the restaurant we had seen the OC sheriff on TV announcing an arrest. We talked about it for a while.

Next, of course, we turned to the death penalty. John’s for it in “cases like this.” I’m against it because of a) the likelihood of executing innocents now and then and b) the promotion of violence by example.

John said where he’s from, outside of Shanghai, it is much safer. “Women can walk the streets at night. No problems.” I asked if he thought that was because of China’s severe law enforcement and liberal use of the death penalty, and he thought that it was.

(I report this as John’s view, not as a fact. There must actually be crime in China, because they execute thousands of criminals every year, or at least that’s my impression. And on the other hand, I think a woman would be perfectly safe on most LA streets most of the time. Our society is not really that violent. But when there’s a good potboiler of a crime, the media sure make it seem like Crime is Ravaging Our Communities.)

John works for an international shipping company with offices all over the world. He worked for them in China, now he works for them here. His wife and 16-year-old daughter are with him, but they are back in China for summer vacation. He likes it here. He thinks he’ll stay, at least until retirement. It’s a good opportunity.

Camille commented on how good his English is. He said when he was learning English, there were border disputes with Russian, and their English lessons consisted of phrases that could be useful in confrontational situations. Like “Halt! Who goes there?” and “Stop or I’ll shoot!”

“And of course,” John said, “Long live Chairman Mao.”

He paused for a minute and then asked if we knew who Chairman Mao was.

AND THEN I THOUGHT to ask him something I often ask Chinese people I meet: Have you ever heard of Layman Pang?

I found a book about Layman Pang in the New Orleans Public Library when I was living there in ’82 or ’83. It said he was a successful merchant in 9th or 12th century China, the richest guy in town, but that in mid-life, realizing the futility of striving and coveting, he loaded his cash and positions on a boat and sunk it in the lake. After that, it said, he and his family lived “like a single leaf,’ wandering about like hippies, making chopsticks as a trade, and digging the Tao for pleasure and fulfillment. The book said everyone in China knows Layman Pang. But I never met anyone who has heard of him. John never heard of him. I don’t know…maybe I’m pronouncing it wrong.

And that’s when John introduced me to the Ideal Man, Lei Feng. He said every Chinese person over 35 knows him, although I gather that his fame is receding. He was a soldier and a diarist, in the 50s, I think. A model citizen. Maybe the best. He was devoted to helping people, and I gather there are many examples. He was loved. His diary was widely read. Now, John said, it’s probably out of print.

John wrote Lei Feng’s name in Chinese in my noebook.

WE TALKED ABOUT China and also about my travels in Russia and Romania. About the end of Communism. He confirmed my sense that there is no longer Communism in China. The gap between the classes is a chasm, with no support for the poor. There is no Communism, but there IS a Communist Party, still an instrument of a government which is often corrupt, self-serving and repressive. He said for many Chinese, the ones who are succeeding in the new economy, it doesn’t really matter that the government is oppressive. As long as they can get a nice condo and a car, and the usual comforts of modern urban life, they are fine. Out in the country it’s a whole different world.

We talked about the ideals of the Russian and Chinese communist revolutionaries, and what they were trying to do, which is basically to take the best modern scientific progressive features of the industrial revolution and avoid its ugly, exploitive, destructive aspects, so that all people will be lifted up out of misery, privation and war.

“Well, John,” I asked. “Is it possible? Can we have a world where everyone lives in peace, with dignity, not exploited? Are those ideals still worth striving for.”

“We discussed this quite a bit in China, about 10 years ago,” he said. “I think yes, it is possible to have that kind of world…But not now…not soon.”

THERE IS ONE MORE THING I like to bring up when I have the chance to talk like this with people from other countries. I never know exactly how to put it.

“America today is like Rome at the height of its empire: The undisputed ruler of the world. Is that how you see it? Is it a good thing?”

He knew exactly what I was getting at. He agreed that America rules the world (although who might rule the world in 50 years is an open question, he said, since empires and nations come and go). As to whether it is good, that depends a lot on whose ax is getting gored.

I brought up Afghanistan, said I’d rather have seen any military response to 9/11 go through the UN, so as to enhance the rule of law in the world, not the rule of might. He thought most Chinese would agree with me about that.He asked if I was a Democrat. Camille scoffed: “He’s no Democrat,”

“I’m registered Green,” I told him. “I usually vote Democrat, but I hold my nose!”

“I didn’t think you were a Republican.”

The man may not have been here long, but I guess he’s got the politics down pretty well.

John's reply:

"Where is Lei Feng?"

Hi Peter,

It's very interesting to read "The Ideal Man" which you wrote based on our conversation. Your story basically reflects correctly what we talked about and my point of view on many subjects, except for a few points on which I might not have expressed myself accurately, which include but not limited to followings:

1. That the crime rate is low is only PARTLY due to China's severe law enforcement and the death penalty. Other reasons for it include 1) no weapons are allowed to be sold, and 2) violence is basically not a part of our media.

2. China government is not doing nothing about the poor. The government has so-called "re-employment"
   projects for jobless people in many provinces, and in many cities the unemployed people are given some money to maintain a basic living.

3. The living standard of China's rural regions vary from place to place. Some farmers are living even a better life than some people in cities, but in China's northwest regions, many farmers are still very poor and
   the government is trying to develop these areas. A lot of work needs to be done.

4. The correct spelling of the Ideal Man should be "Lei Feng." I believe his diaries were out of print a long time ago. I know after his death in the early 60s, many books were written about him, and his diaries
   were translated into many languages. Even nowadays if someone does some good deeds or offers his help to others in need ,he or she will be called "living Lei Feng". But some young people would think differently and might even call them idiot. In today's China, moral is losing out, people become very material-minded. There have been even some guys, who before jumping into the river to save a life, asked the parents how much they would pay for his help. Many others are just watching emotionlessly and would not give a hand. That's why many people are often asking, "Where is Lei Feng?"

I’d like to exchange more ideas with you on any interesting subjects.

Let's keep in touch.
Take care,

John